Monday, May 16, 2011

Advice by Chomba

Any advice for how to handle goodbyes to all my friends in May?

Goodbye sometimes could be a painful word, yet the best opportunity to acknowledge how important someone has been to you. There is nothing as special as a goodbye, especially if you have been close; however, keep it simple and genuine. You have come a long way. You left your family and friends back home to make Brattleboro and SIT your new playground. Because the community is so small, you have easily become connected to people you never even knew existed in this world. After spending warm and cold seasons of the Green Mountains together as friends, it could be heartbreaking to know that soon you all will be going your separate ways.
Well, it is tough to believe and so is saying goodbye, but the good thing is that the friendship will not end here. In this case, let your intentions be known. If you want to stay in touch make that promise now and emphasize that as long as the world does not end in 2012 , you will be there for each other. In my experience, exchanging small gifts and notes helps a lot.
While cards from Hallmark look great, I suggest you take an extra mile to try something different, like creating your own card and express yourself in your own words and language. Sometimes a drawing or a poem is special. Go out together for a snack to a place you and your friends have never been before so that you create new memories for each other. Write a poem to that friend you appreciate most, or simply exchange music. Please keep it simple- sometimes doing too much could be misinterpreted and leave someone wondering whether there was something else in your relationship which was left unsaid, which may bring risks to the friendship.

How can I maintain my SIT friendships/relationships once i have my internship?

While distance could be measured in different units, the miles and kilometers between you and your friends is never too far. Friendships are one of the greatest things in life and could be easily lost if not given much attention. I am glad you have made friends just in this short time at SIT together. Considering that soon and very soon you will be going separate ways, you need to sit down with friends and discuss how you will keep your relationships healthy and sustained.
I would recommend taking advantage of the regular mail service. Simply a post card once in a while makes a difference. Writing each other some notes and sharing experiences could be great. Other many options include emails, online chats, skype and blogs.
I would caution you to be very careful with how you communicate, sometimes your e-mails, phone calls, chats if not well managed and could cost you friendships depending on how you do it. I say so because if you are having fun where you are it doesn’t mean that everyone is experiencing the same. You may call someone who has gone through a stressful moment at their internships or homesick and their response may not be as pleasant as you expected. Therefore, check in with your friends; begin a conversation with a tone to make them feel that you care, to make them realize that they are special. There is no place that far if you really care for one another, however, it is a commitment. Best of luck!

What if i don't get a job?

I am wondering whether you have asked for a job already, because in real life, expectations come when there is an effort. Anyway, it is normal to worry about jobs , especially since you are finishing your on-campus phase soon. However, take your time, look into the future, and think of what could be best for a job. I urge you that in all your job search and consultations, you value your personal interests and then skills.
Believe it or not, we live for happiness and we are constantly living even during hard times just because we hope to have happiness, and this is what life is all about. Make sure that you get a job where you contribute to society as well as achieve happiness. While you may panic and worry about the job issue, understand that in life things never happen at once. It’s a step or two at a time.
One thing I would like to emphasize also is to stay away from comparing yourself to others. I know it is nice to see others doing great and sometimes it creates pressure in ourselves if we seem to not have what others do. My advice is that we live within our means. Simply because someone you know got a job working on Christmas Island and Mafia Island on the Indian Ocean does not make you look bad at all. Your time will come as long as you work hard, stay focused and determined, and believe in yourself.
If it really happens that you have no job, I am sure there are thousands things out there you can do to make your life exciting. You can become active in your community by taking part in events that interest you, you could create a project even writing a book, and sometimes personal projects become fulltime jobs. In short, be creative with your time and make the best out of resources and opportunities around you. Life is too short to just sit back waiting for a job. Best of luck!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your wise words, Chomba! Can't wait until you are president!!